Funeral Ceremonies
About Funeral Ceremonies
The term funeral derives from the Latin word funus, meaning "funeral, funeral procession, burial rites" or "death, corpse." The word initially referred specifically to the burial of the dead until the early 1500s when its meaning broadened through usage to refer to the ceremony surrounding burying someone who died.
Ancient Funeral Customs
From as far back as 60,000 B.C., there is evidence that early humans decorated their deceased with flowers, antlers, and other items from the natural world. It’s impossible to know the exact impulse that led to that practice, but it’s reasonable to believe it had to do with spirituality and a belief in the afterlife. Some of the world’s most famous and impressive ancient landmarks were built, at least in some part, as tombs or as vehicles for memorial. The pyramids of Egypt, the Taj Mahal, the terra cotta warriors of China, the Mausoleum, and the Roman catacombs were all ways to honor and enshrine the dead. Today’s funerals borrow some elements from the past and move on from others.
Early religions often held that the spirits of the dead carried objects with them on their travel to the afterlife, so people would entomb their loved ones with items that could accompany their journey. Today, that tradition is still alive: Family and friends routinely bury or inter the deceased with treasured possessions from life. Similarly, leaving flowers with those who have died is certainly prevalent today.
Funerals Today
A funeral gives friends and relatives an opportunity to express the love and respect they feel for someone who was important to them. Often, just seeing how much others care can help a family adjust to their loss. For thousands of years, funerals have been a means of expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings.
Holding a funeral or memorial ceremony for the deceased can be an important step in the grief process. Recognition of the deceased is important because it reinforces the reality of a loved one's death.
According to Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt rituals surrounding funerals are very important:
- Rituals Unite Us - Typically public events, families, friends, church members, villages, even nations create and enact rituals. It’s a way of providing a support system for common beliefs and values.
- Rituals Help Us Feel at Ease - Most rituals follow an established, specific procedure. The details will change, but the general pattern remains recognizable. The predictability of rituals helps participants feel at ease.
- Rituals Help Us Express Our Feelings - The symbol of ritual provides a means to express our beliefs and feelings when language alone will not do those beliefs and feelings justice. Wedding rings, christening gowns and gold watches all symbolize important life transitions and commitments. Not just the objects, but the very acts of ritual are symbolic as well.
Funeral Misconceptions
There are a number of misconceived thoughts about funerals. Here are some that should be considered and addressed when planning a funeral.
- Funerals make us too sad.
When someone we love dies we need to be sad. Funerals provide us with a safe place in which to embrace our pain. - Funerals are inconvenient.
Taking a few hours out of your week to demonstrate your love for the person who died and your support for survivors is not an inconvenience, but a privilege. - Funerals and cremation are mutually exclusive.
A funeral (with or without the body present) may be held prior to cremation. Embalmed bodies are often cremated. - Funerals are only for religious people.
Non-religious ceremonies are also appropriate and healing. - A Funeral should reflect what the loved one wanted.
Maybe not…While the wishes of the person who died should be respected, funerals are primarily for the benefit of the living. - Funerals are only for adults.
Anyone old enough to love is old enough to mourn. Children, too, should have the right and the privilege to attend funerals.